January Newsletter Article

O God, You have taught me from my youth;

And to this day I declare your wondrous works.

Psalm 71:17

Dear Brothers and sisters in Christ, I have had the privilege of guest-preaching and teaching in some of our sister congregations and Lutheran schools over the past month as part of being campus pastor at Christ The King Lutheran Chapel. Speaking about the work the Lord is doing here for the International and American students is fantastic. The services, Bible studies, fellowship activities, and service projects we undertake are impressive, and the students who attend our chapel treasure their experiences here.

While I did speak of the wonderful things that are taking place here at the chapel, I was also asked what parents, grandparents, and pastors could do to help ensure that their own children and grandchildren would take their own faith seriously, continue attending church services at a Lutheran church when they move away from home, and grow and mature as Christians. It was such a good question that I thought I should share this with all of you – many of whom have children and grandchildren of your own. The only caveats I offer are these – first; the suggestions I make here will not guarantee that your children or grandchildren will cherish the faith as you do, nor will it guarantee that they will live out that faith by regularly attending church and availing themselves of God’s gifts in Word and Sacrament, and second; this may be strong medicine for parents who do not consider this to be a serious issue for their families. Please rest assured that I write what I write because of the things that I hear from parents as a pastor to college students.

Near the beginning of most school years at CMU I can count on getting a few phone calls from parents with some or all of the following requests:
- Has my child been going to church?
- Can you make sure my child is going to church?
- How do I get my child to attend church while he or she is away at school?
- My child won’t answer the phone – can you make them talk to me?

Sadly, almost every time I have to ask, ‘and what was your child’s name again…?’ It’s not that I do not care about these students – far from it – the sad fact is that almost every time I don’t even know them!

Again, I cannot guarantee that you will not find yourself in their position one day as well, but there are things all Lutheran parents can be doing for their children throughout their lives to help keep this from happening. First, realize that most of our work in the church is ‘Preventative Spiritual Care.’ Just like you go to see the doctor regularly to stay on top your health and ensure that your body stays strong to fight off diseases and sicknesses, pastors work to prepare you to face the spiritual trials that will surely come down the road. It all begins with Baptism, continues through Sunday School and confirmation preparation, youth and adult Bible study, and is rooted in the Divine Service.

The best thing you can do as a parent is show by example and by your words the following three things:
- the reason you are Lutheran and not something else.
- that weekly church attendance is important for Christians.
- that you expect your children to continue to grow and mature as Christians when they go to college.

Obviously these things cannot happen overnight. You cannot sit down with your son or daughter the night before you drop them off at college, tell them these things, and expect that they will have no spiritual problems while away at college. These things should be part of the pattern of your lives from the time of childhood for your children. Don’t send them away to college as ‘blank slates’ – you will be alarmed at what will fill it. You can’t expect your children to be strong and dedicated Christians in college if you haven’t raised them to be strong and dedicated Christians from the beginning of their lives.

I cannot overemphasize how crucial it is for children going away to college to have a strong, distinctive, Lutheran identity. This identity is confused when they are allowed to sleep in on Sundays instead of going to church. It is likewise confused when they attend multiple churches with other family members and friends. It is further confused when their parents have not expressed – in both action and words – that being a Lutheran is the most important thing in their life.

If your children or grandchildren attend a public university, they will have next to no support or encouragement from their classmates or professors to grow and mature in the Christian faith or even go to church. One of the most difficult things for anyone to do is to go to church alone, and most college students are faced with that very thing as freshmen, when feelings of loneliness are at their highest in a college student’s career. Make it a priority to visit your children while they are at college and go to church with them there. Introduce them to the campus pastor and let them get to know one another. It speaks volumes to your children about your commitment to the faith when you make it a priority to attend church even when you are away from home.

There is surely much more that could be said about this topic, but for now this is plenty of food for thought. Do not be afraid to take the initiative with your children and do not worry whether you might be too late – there is no time like the present to resolve, as parents and grandparents, to tell the next generation what you believe, why you believe it, and why you care that they too believe it!

To Christ alone be all the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
Pastor Bakker